Happy Valentines Day

By Greg Quinn

2/14/05

 Today we celebrate a day of love.  Valentines Day.  Kids in school exchange paper cards and notes and candy.  Men bring their wives and girlfriends flowers and candy and lingerie.  Wives and girlfriends cook their men great meals.  It’s a day to celebrate love.

Yet, not everyone feels in love.  Some are lonely and sad.  Why is it that, even on this day, 1000’s of women today will kill their babies through abortion?  Why is it that, even on this day, some are so lonely that they take their own life?  Why is it that, even on this day, husbands and wives will call it quits and decide on a divorce?

On this day of love, I’ll not talk about abortion or suicide.  I’ll not focus on loneliness.  I’ll not even focus on how we should all show mankind the love of God more.  Those are things we have discussed before, and things we all have heard before.  Today, on this day to celebrate love, let’s talk for a moment about the bonding of two people into husband and wife, the glorious celebration of marriage that God ordained, but that mankind is ruining. 

In the Holy Bible, Jesus said (Mark 10:2-9): “And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? Tempting him.  And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?  And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.  And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.  But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh; so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

We say vows on that blessed day, the day we get married, that goes something like this:  “I take this woman to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for better and for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, for as long as we both shall live, until death do us part.” 

We say these things, yet as the songs from the marriage get lost in our mind, and the pictures turn yellow, and the honeymoon is over, our thoughts turn to something like this:  “I take this woman to be my lawfully wedded wife, and will have and hold her as long as she does exactly what I say and stays beautiful and never gets in my way and is never a hindrance to me, and if she frustrates me enough, then I’ll just divorce her and get another.”

A vow is a promise.  We say a promise to our spouse, to the friends and family that are witnesses to this event, to the preacher or official conducting the ceremony, and to God Almighty, the One who ordained marriage.  Yet, when things get tough, we throw away the promise and the one to whom we made the promise, and want to move on with our lives like nothing is wrong.  What’s wrong with this picture?

Statistics show that divorced people wish they hadn’t gotten divorced.  Statistics show that second marriages and beyond have a greater chance of failure than the first.  Statistics show how divorce ruins homes and lives and children and futures.  We don’t get married planning for divorce (well, with pre-nups and other popular moves, we come into a marriage saying that we’re betting on it failing).  Yet, Satan himself had rather attack the home and ruin a marriage than just about anything, because he knows that if he ruins a marriage, he ruins many lives that touch this marriage, and causes those getting divorced to spit in the eye of God who ordained this union.

If you are already divorced, this message is not for you.  God will forgive your sin and will help you put your life back together.  If you are one where your spouse walked out on you and there was nothing you could do, God nor I am condemning you.  This message is for those on this Valentines Day that are thinking about the “grass being greener” and those that are contemplating a divorce.  Before you go that far, listen to God and to your heart.  You have another option.

Remember, divorce is your ticket to happiness just like bankruptcy is your ticket to financial peace.

So, what do you do?  If you are married, remember that you made a promise to your spouse.  You promised him or her that you’d love them for as long as you both should live.  You promised that you’d honor them and would stay with them and nothing would keep you apart until death.  Try to remember that vow.  Then, try to remember the love you felt for this person back then.  And ask yourself, what can we do to rekindle this love?  Then, get to work.  If you are willing to make it work, there are lots of books on the subject.  “His Needs-Her Needs” is a good one.  “The 5 Love Languages” is another.  There are many more.  Go to your Pastor or to a Godly counselor.  Get help from friends that have sustained their marriage.  Decide that giving up is not an option.

Nothing is more important to your relationships on earth that the relationship to your spouse.  Don’t throw it away.  Make it right.  God will help you and will bless you for your efforts.

Only then, when you decide that, for better or worse, you’ll make a good life with your spouse, can you understand the words, “Happy Valentines Day”.

Greg Quinn

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